The one thing that is really hard

when dealing with Trichotillomania are my friends.  I do know that they mean well when trying to help but they don’t understand that nervously chuckling yet having a slight scolding tone when confronting me about pulling does not help, it makes me feel even worse.  I understand that not saying anything is ultimately worse but when my spots get pointed out I feel horrible.  Not only can I not do anything to cover it up (mine at the moment is at a very inconvenient spot at the top left of my head) but I get more stressed just knowing that people can see and look at it which leads me to pull more.  They try and help yet what they are doing isn’t really helping at all.  

I understand that pulling out all this hair is horrible yet I can’t seem to get my hands to stop.  I’ve realized I’m starting to pull chunks out again rather then one piece at a time.  I have a bag sitting under my bed for me to pick my hair up off the floor at the end of the night so no one sees it.  It’s full of hair.  I have been putting my hair up again but it doesn’t seem to help at all; my picky fingers just tear it down again.  

Ultimately, I’m disappointed that I’ve gone back to pulling.  I hope to stop sometime in the near future but I can’t help but feel that I won’t.